JOKE - LOVE OF GOD
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The minister asked a group of children in a Sunday School class, "Why do you love God?"
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The best response was, "I don't know, I guess it just runs in the family."
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JOKE - GETTING OLD
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How you can be sure that you are getting old:
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Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn’t work.
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Your little black book contains only names ending in MD.
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Your children begin to look middle-aged.
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You know the answers but nobody has asked you the questions.
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You look forward to a dull evening.
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Your favorite part of the newspaper is "Twenty-five Years Ago Today.”
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You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
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Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
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The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.
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Your back goes out more often than you do.
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The little old gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
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You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
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You don? t have enough room in the medicine cabinet.
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JOKE - PRESUMPTUOUS
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For Your Sermon Illustration File
Illustrations for Preaching
by Clyde W. Chesnutt
There is a delightful story about a young lady on a cruise ship who kept glancing at an attractive young man. He could not help but notice her attention and was flattered.
Finally he mustered up the courage to approach her. "Pardon me," he said with a gentle smile. "It may be my imagination, but I could not help but notice that you keep looking in my direction. Is there something wrong?"
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She blushed and said demurely, "Oh, no. It's just that I can't help but notice how much you resemble my first husband."
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The young man looked puzzled and asked, "How many times have you been married?"
She gave a mysterious smile and answered, "Oh, I haven't been married ...yet."
. . . Christian Communications Laboratory, Feb. 28, 1988
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